Still kickin'

Wow--- a long time since last posting. Too much has been going on. A little bit of sad, a lot of happy and a lot of chaos. Toni and Francis made the move to a new house a few months ago. They recently made it their own by spreading disgusting (is there any other kind?) red diarrhea all over our new floors and area rugs. Thanks guys... wouldn't be home without it... right? Just to make it an extra special occassion, they did it at the end of Father's Day, right when we were trying to put the kids to bed. i was in the back of the house with brooks and suddenly i thought i smelled sewage. i desperately started dashing around, peeked out into the backyard to see if the pipes had burst, then to the bathroom, then the baby's diaper. Next I ran out to the room where the dogs normally hang out and I spot the nastiness spattering of diarrhea ever. Hot water, soap, rug cleaner, bleach, then steam cleaning and the house still abounds with the delightful smell of shit. they spent some time outside, needless to say.

The Toni Saga Continues...

Another fine day in Toni land. He's had his ankle stitches in for well over two weeks... actually, i think almost 3 weeks. Today was the day I finally dragged him back to the vet AGAIN. The vet and I are tight.... like, I'm almost to the point where i feel it appropriate to invite him back to our house for a lovely glass of wine and some suture and staple undoing over dinner.

Anyway, i felt ok about this vet trip because last week when i was in there having his bandages changed out, the vet said his ankle wound looked like it was healing "great". I chose not to look. So, today as i lug Toni, my two young boys and my whale like pregnant self back into the vet, i was feeling good about Toni coming home with a healthy sewn together ankle. Well, if this doesn't say it all.... when they unwrapped the bandage, all we saw was oozing blood and my 4 year old boy covered his eyes and said "i can't look". Nice. Apparently since it had been wrapped up for so long it just wasn't drying out. flat out nasty. The vet still thinks it looks good, but the damn wound is still open a bit. I was given the instructions to 'let it breathe' so the air can heal it.
HMMMMMM... does the vet care nothing about my furniture?

So, home we went. i dropped him off, put him in the bathroom with his bed and left for about an hour. i came back to find him nibbling on his wet, bloody filth. Fabulous moment. Anyway, the enormous cone thingy went on his pathetic little wispy neck. Toni now bumps into every wall and piece of furniture i have in the house because the collar is so enormous.

The staples are supposed to be finally taken out next Monday. I'm hoping we make it that long before going back. wish us luck.

Why.... does this have to happen to Toni???

Poor Toni, i feel so bad for him. This morning I was remarking how well his back looked. I thought it looked like it was almost healed. Then, this afternoon, i look down at him to put him outside and to my horror I saw a gaping wound. The stitches broke and Toni had a huge raw wound on his back. AND.... to make matters worse, I feel this was completely UNnecessary. Toni originally went in to have lacerations on his ankle sutured and the vet kept saying he really wanted to take off this growth on his back even though I said he'd had it for years and it was fine.
I must mention that ever since last wed when Toni cut his ankle, my heart has regrouped to its former self and my love for Toni knows no bounds. His breath is better and he's just so pathetic with all the bandages. Now I feel HORRIBLE seeing his bony little back and frail skin held together with 8 staples and one suture. I asked the vet if it was possible for his back to just split back open again even with all these staples and he said not likely, but possible. So, for the next 10 or so days until this heals I'll be on pins and needles every time I peer over at his sad little back. Toni, has been a champ..... acts like nothing is wrong... which scares me. I'm going to hope the next post is NOT about Toni and the vet. Wish me luck.

More Drama

So, this is the deal. Mo drama, Mo drama, Mo drama. Here's the story, same song, second verse, a little less pornographic, but a whole lot worse. I'm coming home from the local pool today with our two boys and I get a call from Brian. Brian was working from home today so he could watch the kids as i ran to my dr's appt this afternoon. Here's our phone call:
Brian: are you coming home soon?
Me: Yes, I'm on my way, why?
Brian: I was just sitting here on the couch working and I looked over at Toni to see this huge gash on his leg.
Me: What? From what? How?
Brian: I have no idea, but it's huge and bloody and gross.
Me: Is there blood every where? Is he crying?
Brian: Just a few drops of blood on the couch
Me: How did this happen?
Brian: No idea, but i need to take him to the vet
Me: Well, go, just go, hurry though because I've got to leave for my dr's appt in 45 minutes.

So, I get home, Brian's still there and I see Toni's leg. DIS GUSTING. It's bloody and raw and to me looks like his flesh is just being eaten away by a terrible flesh eating disease, so I tell Brian to take him NOW. Meanwhile at home I'm searching the house for rotting flesh and blood, but can't find anything but the blood on the couch. Obviously i clean it up quickly, then throw a blanket on top in fear my kids will catch this disgusting, horrible virus. Brian calls and tells me vet is closed for lunch hour. I direct him to another one, he makes it, basically drops off the dog so he can rush home and watch the kids so I can go to the Dr. The vet won't do anything until we come back and sign our lives and $ away.

Ok, on the way back from my dr's appt, (which went well thank you! Baby #3 is squirming around happily) I stop at the vet to get the story on Toni. I'm so kindly escorted back to a room where the vet and his assistant proceed to tell me that Toni somehow received two lacerations on his ankle area and it needs suturing, which in turn requires general anesthesia. General anesthesia on a dog 13 or 14 years old requires all sorts of lab work... so throw that on the bill too. THEN, we had a nice little conversation that went a little something like this:
Vet: I don't like black masses on dogs.
Me: What, you mean the thing on his back? He's had that forEVER and he's been fine.(i fail to mention that we usually just cover the black, oozing, bloody wart up with a spongebob bandaide)
Vet: Well, I'll just get rid of it while he's under the anesthesia.
Me: What will that cost?
Vet: There won't be any charge.
Me: (this is just my thought bubble: seriously? this is completely unnecessary. The last time I took my dog to a vet to have a wart removed, he died within 6 months.)
Vet: Do you ever notice an odor coming from your dog's mouth?
Me: You mean that 'rot' smell? Um, yeah, he has horrible breath, but we don't get his teeth done anymore because the last time we had his teeth cleaned and pulled, Toni's jaw broke in 4 directions and he had pins in it for 8 weeks. (another thought bubble here: not to mention it took us a solid year to pay that crap off)
Vet: I'm just gonna scrape some tartar off his teeth while he's under anesthesia too.
Me: We don't want teeth pulled.
Vet: I don't 'plan' on pulling any teeth.
Me: What's the charge for that?
Vet: No extra charge

Ok, so then the assistant goes over the charges and gives me a F***ing range for the total cost.
I almost passed out. The cost will be anywhere from $706 to $886 depending on how the surgery goes and what they have to do. Ok, so, I'm due with our 3rd baby in a few months and we do NOT have this kind of $. I ask about payment plans- and i hear No. The assistant asks me to sign and initial 3 papers so they can get the 'go ahead' for this ridiculously expensive suturing. I just sit there in silence for a minute- literally, crickets were chirping- at least in my head. I say, "That's a HUGE chunk of unexpected cash to pay."
Their response was more silence. Finally, after a minute or two, the assistant says, well, if you don't get it done, it's so large that it will get infected and that would be worse. I'm thinking to myself ...now would that really be worse? The big man upstairs may so graciously call our Toni to come join Pretty Boy up under the rainbow bridge to run and play and save his owners some serious cash.
Whatever, I finally signed the papers, trying to figure out how we are going to pay in a few hours because deep within, you know i secretly love Toni. Their last words to me before I walk out the door were "We'll take really good care of Toni and will call the minute he wakes up, but don't hesitate to call before if you want to."
I just sort of smiled and said bye.
I know they were thinking what a horrible dog parent I was because I never once asked how Toni was doing or pleaded with them to take good care, but honestly, I was just trying to cope with the amount of Money we were about to lose.

Around 5pm we get the call that Toni survived, but surprise, surprise lost a few teeth when they cleaned the tartar off.

Now, Toni sits in his bed tongue hanging out of his mouth because he has no teeth and sutures on his back from the removed black mass and sutures on his leg from the bewildering lacerations.
I'm tired.

Stinky A$$ Dog

So, it's been a while, and trust me, i'm NOT short on stories, just been short on time. I had to post this next little blurb because it made me giggle and snort.... and sadly in part because i could relate to the situation. This dog has been posted about Several times before.... I call the dog 'Scratchy', but its real name is Scout.

I just came home from michaels to a HUGE pile of vomit with Scout standing over it. I nearly barfed while cleaning it up. Last night I was just about asleep and I heard a pfffff and all of a sudden it stunk REAL bad. Scout had farted right in my face. Jamie died laughing! The things I put up with!!!

Chicken Carcass Anyone?

So, Pasta is up to his old tricks...
What better way to start off 2010, then to find a rotisserie chicken carcass on your bedroom carpet. Usually, my first reaction is to cuss Pasta out, but this time, I had to laugh. As disgusting as this was, it was a site to see. Lucky me.
The cussing came later... as I saw the devastation in the kitchen...and then the chicken bones strung out across the rest of our bedroom. And, then the actual rotisserie chicken container in the guest bedroom concealed underneath the bed. Gross. Sometimes, I feel like I live in a landfill when Pasta takes charge. I shouldn't have left him in the kitchen with a full trashcan. Not a full trashcan with a rotisserie chicken on top, that's for sure.
That night, after the house was cleaned, we all went to sleep peacefully. Pasta slept in his crate, and the rest of us in our beds. At 1:30am, I got up with the baby. Half awake, I moseyed over to the baby's room, passing Pasta's crate on the way there. And what do I find? Something that clearly was supposed to be hidden from me. It was a Styrofoam encasing of a chicken package pressed up against the metal grid door of his crate. Yes, I am serious. Pasta slept with the chicken breast package.

Pee on my bed 2X in 2 years

I think the title pretty much says it all. It's been over a week since this incident and I'm just now feeling like I can talk about it. This betrayal made me BEYOND furious. All I was doing was just trying to get out of the house... the boys were finally ready and I had to run upstairs one more time to grab something I forgot. I literally take ONE step into my bedroom and I smelled serious trouble. The stench of urine was overwhelming. I stopped dead in my tracks, craned my neck from left to right scanning the floor. Nothing. I look up at my nicely made bed and see Toni on top of my 6 throw pillows, sleeping soundly. My eyes sweep to the bed in front of the pillows and spy a a horrendous puddle of dog urine...ON TOP OF MY COMFORTER. The string of sounds and words that flowed from my mouth was a torrent of vile anger. REALLY? Toni peed where he sleeps every day and night...REALLY? This is the second time in 2 years he has peed on my bed. What is wrong with him? I couldn't even look him in the eye for several days. You want to know the sick ending of this story? Yeah, that's right.... Toni actually made out like a bandit and reaped the harvest of good wealth. I bought him a new dog bed. Whatever, life doesn't make sense.

I Told you Pasta has a loveable side

ok, yep, this story here proves it. I did NOT just give a mongrel of a dog to my sister. Pasta actually has a face of a lover and the heart of a saint. Almost makes me miss him.

I feel like Pasta deserves a break. All I do is rip on him. Despite the fact that he’s hidden two tootsie rolls in Michael’s pile of dirty laundry this week and one under Jackson’s dog bed, and despite the fact that he’s gotten into the trash multiple times in the last week and even ripped open a new bag of dog food from the bottom, I do still have a soft spot for him.
For instance, when Jackson starts making stressful, coarse breathing sounds while he’s asleep (remember, Jackson is a fat Chihuahua), Pasta will run over to his frenemy to make sure everything is ok. He sits next to him and makes sure J is breathing by placing his snout right next to Jackson’s nose. Pasta is also known to run over to baby Beck when he is crying as if to let him know he’s not alone. He’s quite the consoler. So, there you have it, Pasta’s got a good heart below all that stinkbreath.

MORE on Pasta the Magical Dog

So, when I gave this dog to Nicole, I had no idea that talents he possessed. Check this out:

Imagine this.
One day I come home from work and hear a snapping/popping sound coming from the kitchen. I can’t imagine what would be making this sound, but I do know that Pasta is locked in the kitchen while we’re away at work, so it can’t be anything good.
I round the corner and peer into the kitchen to find my gas stove ON. Sparks are flying up from one of the burners with a pizza box sitting inches away. Well, good ole’ Pasta was at it again and managed to turn the knob of the stove on while in search for the possibility of food on the countertops.
I still can’t believe this story – our house could have burned down!

3 dogs? Hell NO!

This story cracks me up. Amy has to clean up pee and poop inside the house just about as much as I do and that's on top of having to change diapers on her two kids. Really now, a third dog was even a consideration?... really??????

Jamie came home from doing errands and said he almost got a dog b/c they were having a big puppy sale at the garden store, so then we began a conversation at dinner about why we should and shouldn't get one, and then Scout took a big dump right in front of us at the dinner table and the conversation ended.

Pasta NEVER fails to entertain

Trust me, Pasta is NOT, i repeat, is NOT abused. He is lovingly looked after, but just never boring. He likes the attention on him.... I'll let Nicole tell you the story:

Here’s a doozy of a story for ya. It involves my Italian Greyhound, Pasta, A.K.A. “Stinkface.” Let me begin by setting the scene for you. It was early October…leaves are starting to fall, the air was crisp, and I was still getting used to our new member of the family, 3 week-old baby Beck. So, let’s just say everything was rosy.
Then one night as I sit watching tv, I notice something unusual as I glance over to the far corner of the couch where Pasta sits curled up in a circle. Something wasn’t quite right. At first, I thought I was merely seeing a shadow cast upon Pasta’s face. It wasn’t until I call Pasta’s name to get a better look that I saw what appeared to be a growing bubble on the right side of Pasta’s face. That’s weird, I thought. So, being that it’s Friday, and the vet is closed, I give Pasta some Benedryl and went to sleep. Over the weekend, I noticed the bubble had grown a bit, but nothing to freak out about yet. Well, come Monday night as I watch Dancing With the Stars, something catches my eye. You guessed it – it was Pasta’s GIANT face. This time Pasta looked like a MONSTER. He was deformed like the Elephant Man. I couldn’t stand the site any longer. I had to bring him in.
So, that night, my husband brought Pasta to the vet and let them stick a little needle into that giant blob on his face to aspirate whatever goodies lie inside. The Dr. thought “Stinkface” had an abscess near one of his molar teeth. (Do dog’s even have molars?) Anyway, it was decided that the next morning Pasta would be put under anesthesia to have his teeth cleaned, and that molar tooth pulled. Supposedly, the abscess would drain out of the socket in Pasta’s mouth.
Pasta spent the whole next day at the vet. I must say I was really looking forward to Pasta having less stinkbreath, pearly whites, and no facial deformities. Well, Michael brought Pasta home that night and unfortunately, he still had a giant face...I guess the swelling doesn’t go away that fast. The next night while my mother was in town visiting, she says to me. “Nicole......... Pasta’s face!” I turn to look at Pasta and sure enough, Pasta’s face had exploded. That’s right, I said EXPLODED. Instead of the blood and pus and nastiness draining inside of Pasta’s mouth, it came out that tiny hole where fluid was aspirated a few days before. And, it was gushing! It wouldn’t stop. To make matters worse, Pasta kept scratching his exploded face. Blood was everywhere! All over his face. All over the kitchen floor. Drops of blood on the carpet. And, of course anywhere his bloody paw hit the ground. Meanwhile, the baby is screaming in my arms. I am furious. My mother is shocked and trying to figure out what to do. What do I do first? Well, a few obscenities slipped out first(cussing in my loudest whisper of course!), and then the clean-up began.
There was nothing that would stop the bleeding from his face. Not a bandaid. Not guaze. Nothing. So, Pasta remained in the kitchen while we just let the blood dry on his face. I know, sounds disgusting. That’s because it is. He survived. He had some hair loss at the site of the injury, but now the hair is back and he looks 100% handsome.
Yup. Just another day for Pasta.

Hunter does the inexcusable on Amy's head

This is supposedly the 'good' dog at Amy's house... I believe your opinion will quickly change after you read this:

Hunter, T, as Jack calls him was a dog Jamie and I picked out together from operation kindness right after we got married. This story happened several years ago before we had kids. Jamie came into our marriage with his annoying dog Scout so I tried to make Hunter my dog. I would put my sweaty t-shirts in his cage when we were gone so he would like me the best. Hunter drank some standing water outside and apparently got some kind of parasite. We were sleeping that evening and Hunter's stomach was making some noises but we all just kept sleeping. I guess he really didn't feel well so he came over to the person he liked best, me, and curled up right above my head. I woke up to warm, stinky, dripping diarrhea falling down my head. Hunter remained there and continued to go. I yelled to Jamie trying to wake him up b/c I was afraid to move. Jamie slowly woke up and when he realized what was happening, he jumped up out of bed and grabbed Hunter to take him outside to finish his business outside. I was still frozen not knowing what to do and sort of trying to figure out if this was really happening. I had warm watery diarrhea dripping down my face. Jamie came back and tried to help me to the shower without letting the diarrhea fall all over the floor. That's what I get for making him my dog.

This Dog is BAD to the bone

I'm laughing already because i owned this dog once upon a time before i so casually pawned him off on my sister, Nicole:). You see, Pasta has this face you fall in love with and he's soooo lovable, he's one of the most friendly dogs ever. What you don't know until you own him is that he comes with a major set of baggage. This dog has a few issues and Nicole will be sharing them all with you for sure...in due time.. .in due time. Anyway, I believe the little story she tells here is from this week. He he he... have fun reading and enjoy the laugh!

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Pasta…Toni Pasta. While he may be smooth and good-looking like James Bond, he has thousands of skeletons in his closet. He is a baaaaad boy. As background, Pasta often goes by the nickname “Stinkface” or “Sh!tlips” (if you’re really mad), and you can use your imagination to guess why. He is often seen exiting the scene of a crime in a stealth-like manner.
Pasta commits crimes on a daily basis. For example, today when I ran outside to drop a letter in the mailbox down the street, Pasta took this time to do something really vile. He took the liberty of snatching a dirty diaper I literally just took off my newborn and shredded it to pieces…making sure to embed the diaper particles mixed with yellow poop deep into the baby room carpet. Gross. After my discovery, I brought “Stinkface” to the scene of the crime and in my loudest whisper (so as not to wake the baby), I cuss up a storm. Then, I abruptly lead Pasta to solitary confinement. What a jerk.
More to come on Pasta…the worst is yet to be shared. If you don’t believe me, here’s some reassurance: Pasta used to live with Toni and Francis.

An instant message chat between my sister and I about our dogs

ok, I have to post this instant message chat that I saved between my sister and I. It's hilarious every time I go back and read it, probably mostly because it's about a dog that I gave to Nicole after not being able to handle 3 italian greyhounds and two human babies. Now let me warn you, the dog named Pasta, I gave to Nicole has always had a problem eating his own poo. It's gross, super gross... but it's just how he is. We often, lovingly refer to him as 'shit lips'.

Before you get to reading this lovely chat, let me clear a few names up so the story is a bit clearer. Pasta or Pas as we call him is the dog I gave to my sister Nicole. She also has another dog named Jackson, or J as she refers to him. Pretty Boy is also referenced and he is a dog I used to have, he was the BEST dog in the universe (don't argue with me on that one.. he was.. the BEST EVER) but he sadly passed away in 2001. And last but not least, Michael is my sister's husband.

Oh, there are a lot of spelling mistakes, but i think that's what happens when you're laughing so hard you can barely see the keys that your fingers should be typing on. I didn't bother fixing them because.. it's just the way it is. That should do it on explanations.... enjoy the chat:

Nicole Morrison (7:37 PM): booyah

Erin (7:37 PM): what did pas do?

Nicole Morrison (7:37 PM): oh. . . my god. . .

Erin (7:38 PM): what and when?

Nicole Morrison (7:38 PM): I came home. . played with them a bit

Nicole Morrison (7:38 PM): started reading my book

Nicole Morrison (7:38 PM): then. . .

Erin (7:38 PM): was this after i talked to you

Nicole Morrison (7:38 PM): yes!

Nicole Morrison (7:38 PM): then, I went into the bedroom to find both dogs on the bed. P asta was sitting up where my face lies.

Erin (7:38 PM): were they making love?

Nicole Morrison (7:39 PM): R ight in front of his mouth was a chunk of yellow- brown dog turd. . . . .

Nicole Morrison (7:39 PM): O N M Y S H E E T S !

Nicole Morrison (7:39 PM): where my face lies

Nicole Morrison (7:39 PM): smeared!

Erin (7:39 PM): O M G I " m laughing so hard right now. . . . talk about comic relief

Nicole Morrison (7:39 PM): like he was having a tasty snakc

Erin (7:39 PM): still laughing. . . the silent way

Nicole Morrison (7:39 PM): I was L I V I D .

Erin (7:39 PM): laughing harder

Nicole Morrison (7:39 PM): take him back!

Erin (7:39 PM): even hardernow

Erin (7:39 PM): can' t type

Erin (7:40 PM): the noise is coming

Nicole Morrison (7:40 PM): um, yeah.

Erin (7:40 PM): chest hurts

Erin (7:40 PM): can' t breathe

Nicole Morrison (7:40 PM): W hy did this dog bring a shit to my pillow? !!! A nd chew on it like a treat?

Nicole Morrison (7:40 PM): W T F !

Erin (7:40 PM): can' t stop.

Erin (7:40 PM): crying

Erin (7:41 PM): you probably have no idea how many times that' s happened in the past

Erin (7:41 PM): you just improved my stomach muscles

Erin (7:41 PM): still crying

Nicole Morrison (7:41 PM): I sn' t this horrible? I dont even know how to punish a dog for that? T hats like the worst offense ever. T otally disrepects me!

Erin (7:41 PM): all i can say is better you than me.

Nicole Morrison (7:41 PM): E xactly? H ow many shits have I slept in before?

Erin (7:41 PM): i' m silent laughing again

Nicole Morrison (7:42 PM): G lad your stomach muscles got a work out!

Erin (7:42 PM): what did michael say

Nicole Morrison (7:42 PM): I swear! I t' s never a normal day!

Erin (7:42 PM): where is pas now?

Nicole Morrison (7:42 PM): M ichael' s jaw dropped.

Erin (7:42 PM): what did he do when you saw him

Nicole Morrison (7:42 PM): H e was disgusted. he said, " give him back!

Erin (7:42 PM): N O _ - - what did pas do?

Nicole Morrison (7:43 PM): P as is chillin on the couch like nothing happening. S wooning me.

Erin (7:43 PM): what did j do? did he induldge too?

Erin (7:43 PM): is he looking at you with " those" eyes?

Nicole Morrison (7:43 PM): J laughed ( wagged his tail) the whole time! H e always does that when pas is in trouble!

Erin (7:43 PM): what did you do with the remainder of the turd?

Nicole Morrison (7:43 PM): P astas eyes? A ll twinkly?

Erin (7:44 PM): is he showing you the moons?

Nicole Morrison (7:44 PM): I picked the turd up in a toilet paper and threw it in the toilet. . the remaining smear got a shot of stain remover and was hoisted into the laubrey machine.

Nicole Morrison (7:44 PM): so N A S T Y .

Nicole Morrison (7:45 PM): D o your dogs ever do that?

Erin (7:45 PM): uh N O .

Erin (7:45 PM): that' s pasta' s thing

Nicole Morrison (7:45 PM): so gross! W hats a M orrison to do?

Erin (7:45 PM): my dogs just vomit on our legs in bed

Nicole Morrison (7:45 PM): eeew. T hats sick.

Nicole Morrison (7:45 PM): W hy do we put up with this?

Erin (7:46 PM): yeah, brian starts screaming obsenities in the middle of the night. . . when it typically happens.

Erin (7:46 PM): and it' s usually on him

Erin (7:46 PM): i have no idea . . it' s gross

Erin (7:46 PM): i think because they use the power of the eye to suck you back in

Erin (7:47 PM): i hate changing sheets at 3 in the morning

Erin (7:47 PM): will you always think of what was on your sheet near your face from now on every time you go to bed?

Nicole Morrison (7:47 PM): oh man - for reals?

Nicole Morrison (7:47 PM): probably.

Erin (7:47 PM): gross. i hope the stench doesn' t remain.

Nicole Morrison (7:47 PM): H ere he comes now

Nicole Morrison (7:48 PM): S hit lips himself!

Erin (7:48 PM): do you ever see his turd remnants on his teeth after he' s done snacking?

Erin (7:48 PM): i used to see that a lot with pas

Nicole Morrison (7:48 PM): ahhh, gross. I dont look. I can smell the shit every time he burps and it makes me dry heave every time!

Erin (7:48 PM): G R O S S . . . now i' m laughing again

Erin (7:49 PM): a shit burp?

Nicole Morrison (7:49 PM): Y ou know what I ' m talking about.

Erin (7:49 PM): disgusting

Erin (7:49 PM): does he still do rank ass farts?

Nicole Morrison (7:49 PM): yes? ! Y ou can' t tell me you never smelled it before.

Erin (7:49 PM): does the pink make you feel better?

Nicole Morrison (7:49 PM): I t' s worse than his farts. B rutal. Q uick. I n your face.

Nicole Morrison (7:49 PM): yes. P ink makes me feel cleaner.

Erin (7:50 PM): do you ever play breath ping pong?

Nicole Morrison (7:50 PM): gross! with P asta? I think not. A lthough he does like my morning breath.

Nicole Morrison (7:51 PM): where did you get that phrase? " breath ping pong" N ow I want to vomit.

Erin (7:51 PM): brian and i used to do that with pretty boy. his breath was so bad that whenever he burped or breathed for that matter we would blow in eachothers face. . . . back and forth until the stench dissolved into the air

Nicole Morrison (7:51 PM): gross. T hats a sick game.

Nicole Morrison (7:52 PM): I can only imagine how fun it was.

Erin (7:52 PM): it was a game of stench

Erin (7:52 PM): real. let me tell you how much i miss it

Nicole Morrison (7:52 PM): I think I will save P as' s shit burp in a jar and bring to you in dallas

Erin (7:52 PM): do it. but give it to brian instead.

Nicole Morrison (7:52 PM): what if it held the cure for cancer?

Erin (7:53 PM): maybe you could send it into science. donate , you know

Nicole Morrison (7:53 PM): yeah, they might see it as a threat. I t' s equivelant to an atomic bomb.

Nicole Morrison (7:53 PM): whats up with my spelling tonight? I t' s suffering.

Erin (7:54 PM): yes. it is. i' m still smiling. big

I'm NOT alone with this dog thing!

So, I realize I'm not alone with all the pet antics that I live on a daily basis. My friends and family tell me stories ALL the time and I love to hear them. It makes me feel happy I'm not alone living in a looney bin. Below is a little experience my good friend just had the other day. This was the day of her baby's christening. As you probably know, dogs don't care how much of a special day or moment you are having... they'll go about their daily business as usual! Oh, and just so it makes sense: Scout and Hunter are her dogs.

I put Hunter up for the lunch at our house after the christening but kept Scout out and right before all 16 of us were going to gather in a circle and say grace before eating, Scout takes a HUGE dump in the middle of everyone and of course EVERYONE points out that "your dog is pooping on the floor!" like it was unusual. We were like, ahh happens daily. I'm sure they are very impressed.

Clothes Rack

Sometimes I'm just too lazy to put the hangers back in the closet, so they end up on Francis. She obliges just fine. Actually, this was Brady's doing and he thought it was way hilarious. I kind of thought it was funny too... probably because she just left a gigantic poop at the top of our stairwell after i had let her out. So typical....I do believe I clean pee or poo daily. Oh yeah, and I clean vomit too. That reminds me... a couple of weeks ago, I started getting these horrible chest pains and literally thought i was having a heart attack. I had my sister come over to take me to the hospital and before i left i went upstairs to use the restroom. I bet you can imagine what's coming next... yep, as I'm barely moving because of my chest pain, I have to gingerly step over 3 spots of dog vomit to use the toilet. Can't anything just be easy???? Not with dogs... they like to keep it interesting, that's for sure. Oh and in case you were wondering... not a heart attack... apparently my heart is just fine... i think it was a pleurisy caused from this month long cold i had.

peeeeeee always peeeeeeeeee

I'd have a picture of the puddle of pee... but this incident occurred around 4:30am and oddly enough, i just wasn't camera ready. brian said he woke up to the tapping sound of toni's nails on the floor and then he heard: psssssssssssssssss.....pssssss......pssssssssssssss....psssssssssss...psssss. Gross. Yep, just our lovely, Toni peeing on our bathroom floor. So, that was the way Brian woke up and then I woke up to bright lights, a little cussing, and cleaning spray stench filling my nostrils as i tried to pretend it wasn't happening. If it's not one of our boys waking us up in the night, the dogs will surely fill in for them.

Birdseed

right.........., so today i made bird feeders with the kids. A little peanut butter on a pine cone and then lots of birdseed on top. Well, with a 22 mo old and a 3yr old, lots of seed gets spilled on the patio. Let me warn you.... birdseed is apparently not digested by dogs.... well, not by italian greyhounds anyway. Tonight i found birdseed vomit and poop all over my house and Brian had the lovely opportunity to step in it. good times.

Sad News

Well, with all the hilarity of dog antics, I have to pause for a second to relay some heavyhearted news. Brian went to take Toni into the vet this past Sat. for his follow up appointment and he was greeted at the door with very sad news. Our wonderful vet, Dr. Riddle, passed away last Thursday.
We've been bringing our dogs to Dr. Riddle for over 9 years now and he's been so good to the dogs. He did his job very well, the animals liked him and so did we. We'll miss him and thank him for keeping our animals healthy over the years.

Day 3 of this dirty job

Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha... day 3 and this story is actually becoming funny to me now. The reason being, Brian has taken over all medical duties with Toni-Praise God! Even though Toni is technically 'my dog' since I picked him out at the rescue home, Brian has become even more of a man in my eyes for taking over this nasty nasty nasty job!!!

So, the gloves here, I imagine you all now know what these are for....well, tonight I provided Brian with a choice of gloves. Would you like to know which was the chosen one? Latex baby, apparently the food service glove is a bit too slippery for the required job. Bet that makes you want to blow chunks.

And the mouth wide open shot, well, that's Toni howling with an ear piercing sound... ask my neighbors if you don't believe me. Oh, one more funny (at least i think it's funny), last night Brian decided to get the job done around 9:30pm... in the rain and pitch dark.. can you imagine what the neighbors were thinking?! I'm sure they picture us doing the most horrible, dreadful things with the sounds that Toni emits.