Still kickin'

Wow--- a long time since last posting. Too much has been going on. A little bit of sad, a lot of happy and a lot of chaos. Toni and Francis made the move to a new house a few months ago. They recently made it their own by spreading disgusting (is there any other kind?) red diarrhea all over our new floors and area rugs. Thanks guys... wouldn't be home without it... right? Just to make it an extra special occassion, they did it at the end of Father's Day, right when we were trying to put the kids to bed. i was in the back of the house with brooks and suddenly i thought i smelled sewage. i desperately started dashing around, peeked out into the backyard to see if the pipes had burst, then to the bathroom, then the baby's diaper. Next I ran out to the room where the dogs normally hang out and I spot the nastiness spattering of diarrhea ever. Hot water, soap, rug cleaner, bleach, then steam cleaning and the house still abounds with the delightful smell of shit. they spent some time outside, needless to say.

The Toni Saga Continues...

Another fine day in Toni land. He's had his ankle stitches in for well over two weeks... actually, i think almost 3 weeks. Today was the day I finally dragged him back to the vet AGAIN. The vet and I are tight.... like, I'm almost to the point where i feel it appropriate to invite him back to our house for a lovely glass of wine and some suture and staple undoing over dinner.

Anyway, i felt ok about this vet trip because last week when i was in there having his bandages changed out, the vet said his ankle wound looked like it was healing "great". I chose not to look. So, today as i lug Toni, my two young boys and my whale like pregnant self back into the vet, i was feeling good about Toni coming home with a healthy sewn together ankle. Well, if this doesn't say it all.... when they unwrapped the bandage, all we saw was oozing blood and my 4 year old boy covered his eyes and said "i can't look". Nice. Apparently since it had been wrapped up for so long it just wasn't drying out. flat out nasty. The vet still thinks it looks good, but the damn wound is still open a bit. I was given the instructions to 'let it breathe' so the air can heal it.
HMMMMMM... does the vet care nothing about my furniture?

So, home we went. i dropped him off, put him in the bathroom with his bed and left for about an hour. i came back to find him nibbling on his wet, bloody filth. Fabulous moment. Anyway, the enormous cone thingy went on his pathetic little wispy neck. Toni now bumps into every wall and piece of furniture i have in the house because the collar is so enormous.

The staples are supposed to be finally taken out next Monday. I'm hoping we make it that long before going back. wish us luck.

Why.... does this have to happen to Toni???

Poor Toni, i feel so bad for him. This morning I was remarking how well his back looked. I thought it looked like it was almost healed. Then, this afternoon, i look down at him to put him outside and to my horror I saw a gaping wound. The stitches broke and Toni had a huge raw wound on his back. AND.... to make matters worse, I feel this was completely UNnecessary. Toni originally went in to have lacerations on his ankle sutured and the vet kept saying he really wanted to take off this growth on his back even though I said he'd had it for years and it was fine.
I must mention that ever since last wed when Toni cut his ankle, my heart has regrouped to its former self and my love for Toni knows no bounds. His breath is better and he's just so pathetic with all the bandages. Now I feel HORRIBLE seeing his bony little back and frail skin held together with 8 staples and one suture. I asked the vet if it was possible for his back to just split back open again even with all these staples and he said not likely, but possible. So, for the next 10 or so days until this heals I'll be on pins and needles every time I peer over at his sad little back. Toni, has been a champ..... acts like nothing is wrong... which scares me. I'm going to hope the next post is NOT about Toni and the vet. Wish me luck.

More Drama

So, this is the deal. Mo drama, Mo drama, Mo drama. Here's the story, same song, second verse, a little less pornographic, but a whole lot worse. I'm coming home from the local pool today with our two boys and I get a call from Brian. Brian was working from home today so he could watch the kids as i ran to my dr's appt this afternoon. Here's our phone call:
Brian: are you coming home soon?
Me: Yes, I'm on my way, why?
Brian: I was just sitting here on the couch working and I looked over at Toni to see this huge gash on his leg.
Me: What? From what? How?
Brian: I have no idea, but it's huge and bloody and gross.
Me: Is there blood every where? Is he crying?
Brian: Just a few drops of blood on the couch
Me: How did this happen?
Brian: No idea, but i need to take him to the vet
Me: Well, go, just go, hurry though because I've got to leave for my dr's appt in 45 minutes.

So, I get home, Brian's still there and I see Toni's leg. DIS GUSTING. It's bloody and raw and to me looks like his flesh is just being eaten away by a terrible flesh eating disease, so I tell Brian to take him NOW. Meanwhile at home I'm searching the house for rotting flesh and blood, but can't find anything but the blood on the couch. Obviously i clean it up quickly, then throw a blanket on top in fear my kids will catch this disgusting, horrible virus. Brian calls and tells me vet is closed for lunch hour. I direct him to another one, he makes it, basically drops off the dog so he can rush home and watch the kids so I can go to the Dr. The vet won't do anything until we come back and sign our lives and $ away.

Ok, on the way back from my dr's appt, (which went well thank you! Baby #3 is squirming around happily) I stop at the vet to get the story on Toni. I'm so kindly escorted back to a room where the vet and his assistant proceed to tell me that Toni somehow received two lacerations on his ankle area and it needs suturing, which in turn requires general anesthesia. General anesthesia on a dog 13 or 14 years old requires all sorts of lab work... so throw that on the bill too. THEN, we had a nice little conversation that went a little something like this:
Vet: I don't like black masses on dogs.
Me: What, you mean the thing on his back? He's had that forEVER and he's been fine.(i fail to mention that we usually just cover the black, oozing, bloody wart up with a spongebob bandaide)
Vet: Well, I'll just get rid of it while he's under the anesthesia.
Me: What will that cost?
Vet: There won't be any charge.
Me: (this is just my thought bubble: seriously? this is completely unnecessary. The last time I took my dog to a vet to have a wart removed, he died within 6 months.)
Vet: Do you ever notice an odor coming from your dog's mouth?
Me: You mean that 'rot' smell? Um, yeah, he has horrible breath, but we don't get his teeth done anymore because the last time we had his teeth cleaned and pulled, Toni's jaw broke in 4 directions and he had pins in it for 8 weeks. (another thought bubble here: not to mention it took us a solid year to pay that crap off)
Vet: I'm just gonna scrape some tartar off his teeth while he's under anesthesia too.
Me: We don't want teeth pulled.
Vet: I don't 'plan' on pulling any teeth.
Me: What's the charge for that?
Vet: No extra charge

Ok, so then the assistant goes over the charges and gives me a F***ing range for the total cost.
I almost passed out. The cost will be anywhere from $706 to $886 depending on how the surgery goes and what they have to do. Ok, so, I'm due with our 3rd baby in a few months and we do NOT have this kind of $. I ask about payment plans- and i hear No. The assistant asks me to sign and initial 3 papers so they can get the 'go ahead' for this ridiculously expensive suturing. I just sit there in silence for a minute- literally, crickets were chirping- at least in my head. I say, "That's a HUGE chunk of unexpected cash to pay."
Their response was more silence. Finally, after a minute or two, the assistant says, well, if you don't get it done, it's so large that it will get infected and that would be worse. I'm thinking to myself ...now would that really be worse? The big man upstairs may so graciously call our Toni to come join Pretty Boy up under the rainbow bridge to run and play and save his owners some serious cash.
Whatever, I finally signed the papers, trying to figure out how we are going to pay in a few hours because deep within, you know i secretly love Toni. Their last words to me before I walk out the door were "We'll take really good care of Toni and will call the minute he wakes up, but don't hesitate to call before if you want to."
I just sort of smiled and said bye.
I know they were thinking what a horrible dog parent I was because I never once asked how Toni was doing or pleaded with them to take good care, but honestly, I was just trying to cope with the amount of Money we were about to lose.

Around 5pm we get the call that Toni survived, but surprise, surprise lost a few teeth when they cleaned the tartar off.

Now, Toni sits in his bed tongue hanging out of his mouth because he has no teeth and sutures on his back from the removed black mass and sutures on his leg from the bewildering lacerations.
I'm tired.

Stinky A$$ Dog

So, it's been a while, and trust me, i'm NOT short on stories, just been short on time. I had to post this next little blurb because it made me giggle and snort.... and sadly in part because i could relate to the situation. This dog has been posted about Several times before.... I call the dog 'Scratchy', but its real name is Scout.

I just came home from michaels to a HUGE pile of vomit with Scout standing over it. I nearly barfed while cleaning it up. Last night I was just about asleep and I heard a pfffff and all of a sudden it stunk REAL bad. Scout had farted right in my face. Jamie died laughing! The things I put up with!!!

Chicken Carcass Anyone?

So, Pasta is up to his old tricks...
What better way to start off 2010, then to find a rotisserie chicken carcass on your bedroom carpet. Usually, my first reaction is to cuss Pasta out, but this time, I had to laugh. As disgusting as this was, it was a site to see. Lucky me.
The cussing came later... as I saw the devastation in the kitchen...and then the chicken bones strung out across the rest of our bedroom. And, then the actual rotisserie chicken container in the guest bedroom concealed underneath the bed. Gross. Sometimes, I feel like I live in a landfill when Pasta takes charge. I shouldn't have left him in the kitchen with a full trashcan. Not a full trashcan with a rotisserie chicken on top, that's for sure.
That night, after the house was cleaned, we all went to sleep peacefully. Pasta slept in his crate, and the rest of us in our beds. At 1:30am, I got up with the baby. Half awake, I moseyed over to the baby's room, passing Pasta's crate on the way there. And what do I find? Something that clearly was supposed to be hidden from me. It was a Styrofoam encasing of a chicken package pressed up against the metal grid door of his crate. Yes, I am serious. Pasta slept with the chicken breast package.

Pee on my bed 2X in 2 years

I think the title pretty much says it all. It's been over a week since this incident and I'm just now feeling like I can talk about it. This betrayal made me BEYOND furious. All I was doing was just trying to get out of the house... the boys were finally ready and I had to run upstairs one more time to grab something I forgot. I literally take ONE step into my bedroom and I smelled serious trouble. The stench of urine was overwhelming. I stopped dead in my tracks, craned my neck from left to right scanning the floor. Nothing. I look up at my nicely made bed and see Toni on top of my 6 throw pillows, sleeping soundly. My eyes sweep to the bed in front of the pillows and spy a a horrendous puddle of dog urine...ON TOP OF MY COMFORTER. The string of sounds and words that flowed from my mouth was a torrent of vile anger. REALLY? Toni peed where he sleeps every day and night...REALLY? This is the second time in 2 years he has peed on my bed. What is wrong with him? I couldn't even look him in the eye for several days. You want to know the sick ending of this story? Yeah, that's right.... Toni actually made out like a bandit and reaped the harvest of good wealth. I bought him a new dog bed. Whatever, life doesn't make sense.